My college roommate, whom I lived with for two years, is gay. I had no idea. None. Not until I re-connected with him a few years ago on Facebook and saw a picture of him and his ex-boyfriend posted there did I know. Everyone else knew, apparently, but not me. Now the million-dollar question is, "Why?"
I suppose first of all, he kept it private. Fine, I'm good with that. None of my business anyway. But I lived with him for two years and still had no clue. We roomed together in the dorm and lived off campus in a rental for a year. He was my best friend in college, we got drunk together, got in parking-lot fights, took road trips, and yes, sang Broadway show tunes together. But I honestly had no thoughts whatsoever that he was gay.
Here is the only conclusion I can reach: I am either incredibly open-minded, or completely oblivious. I, personally like to think it's the former, but I can understand how a combination of the two is in the works. Open-mindedness is fantastic. I think it welcomes diversity and new points of view. It opens the door to alternate ways of looking at the world and it's problems. It helps to see complex issues and problems from multiple angles, and thus, assists in solving those issues and problems. But being oblivious is not necessarily a bad thing either.
For example, I see pregnant women all day long, but had no clue that three women who work in my office were pregnant. And not just a little pregnant...but pregnant pregnant. The good news on that one is that I completely avoid the faux pax of asking someone who isn't with child when the baby is due (a mistake you make only once in life since there is no socially acceptable way to wiggle your way out of that nightmare). The bad news is that I now have to face life as the obstetrician who doesn't know someone standing down the hall is pregnant. Again, oblivious but not in a completely 100% bad way.
Frankly, I just don't care if someone is gay, straight, black, white, blue, red...whatever. Just don't be a jerk and I'm pretty much good with it. I keep hearing all these religious politicians and pundits speak of what God wants and what Jesus wants. I read the Bible and it seems quite clear to me: "Love one another as I have loved you." Translation: "Don't be a jerk off to someone else." Fairly simple concept that seems to be incredibly difficult for many people to place into practice. My roommate was a good guy. He was my traveling pal. He was my drinking and study buddy. That was the extent of it. He wasn't the gay guy that I lived with...he was my friend that I lived with. Perhaps I wasn't paying attention, but I think that probably more to the point, it wasn't something I was looking for because it wasn't important to me, and I honestly don't think it would have been any different if he would have told me from day one, because I liked him, I liked hanging out with him, and I liked who he was as a person.
See, that's the gist of this stupid world we inhabit. It doesn't matter what label you carry or what group you fall into...what matters is who you are and what you do with the time you are given. I'm not trying to build myself up as some great, enlightened creature because I'm still fairly certain that some of my open-mindedness is attributed to being oblivious, and I'm as fallible as the next guy. But you know how they say that deep down, we are all the same on the inside? Well they are right and I've seen it. I open people up weekly and we are all pretty much the same on the inside. If only everyone knew that.
So to sum up, my little minions:
a. I don't pay attention.
b. Gay = no big deal. Jerk off = bad.
c. Guts are guts, and are gross no matter what
d. I had a ton of fun with my roommate and my friends in college and wouldn't trade it for the world
Until next time.
The Guru
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