The Opening Salvo

So, at the request of several of my "friends" I have been talked into blogging.  Right from the start, my biggest question was "Who, on God's green Earth cares what I say...much less what I type into a box".  Sadly there was no answer so I am forced to experiment and see for myself.

For those who don't know me, first off, congratulations and turn back now while you still can.  If you are foolish enough to keep reading, I am a gynecologist in Ohio.  I know, I know...can you believe that such a glamorous job exists?  Forget Hollywood.  Screw Wall Street.  Piss off corporate raiders living on private islands.  The Ohio gyno has you all beat on flash.  At any rate, once I settled into the fast-paced, all-go, life-on-the-razor's-edge world of medicine in Ohio, I began to notice that, despite my best efforts, strange and occasionally amazing things were afoot.  In an attempt to maintain my own sanity, this is my way of purging the good and the bad from my psyche.

Why the name?  Why not?  I found out early on that I am not a doctor, nor a gynecologist, nor an OB/GYN.  To most women in this world I am a "Gyno" or, more often, "The Gyno".  And since most of what I do has very little to do with medicine (and because alliteration gets butts in the seats) Guru seemed to fit.  You don't understand?  Fine:

Example 1:  I had a patient in the office a few months ago and, per routine, asked her if she was involved in a relationship, ie married or dating.

Me:  "So are you in a relationship.  Married?  Dating?"

Her:  "No...and it's depressing me.  I am 30 years old and not married.  My mother is disappointed in me and I'm beginning to wonder if anything is wrong with me.  I mean everyone I know is married by now.  Everyone.  My sister is married.  My brother got married.  My two cousins are married.  Granted they are married to each other, but at least they are married."

Me:  "Huh?"

Her:  "Yes.  They are from another state where that is ok to do and got married a few years ago.  They seem happy."

Me:  *blank stare*

Her:  "So you can see why I'm so bummed out because everyone, even my cousins, are married and I'm not"

Me:  "A little pressure here."

The conversation itself was strange enough, but then I began to ponder her situation.  How can it be that a young woman was so distraught over being single that consanguinity was the better, more acceptable option to her?  Would her mother really be that overjoyed if she called and said, "Mom!  I'm engaged!  Yes it happened last night right after the family reunion.  He's a great guy, works full time, he's super cute, and you met him 28 years ago when your sister delivered him!  I know....I'm over the moon!"?

Very little of what I learned in medical school actually applies to my job.

The Guru